


The Marsh Letters

by PrincessGoldfish



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Gen, Religion, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-18 13:48:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 3,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4708217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessGoldfish/pseuds/PrincessGoldfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if we had access to the journal of Kate Marsh?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sept 2nd, 2013

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction for Life is Strange. Please let me know what you think of it.
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/MissKateMarsh

Dear Lord,

I have many things to thank you for. My life, my friends, my beautiful family, and the amazing opportunity to attend Blackwell Academy. It is my first day on campus and I have accomplished so much.

I have my books - ready to scribble on! I have my violin - ready to practice with. I have my baby Alice - ready to love on and cuddle with! And I have my clean room…well hopefully it will stay that way. 

I pray that you lead me to the path of success this year. I pray for all the girls I had the pleasure to meet today, and that they will know you love them. Help us all get through our last year of high school unscathed and prepared to start the next stage of our lives.

Without your guidance, I would be lost. Yours always and forever,

Kate B. Marsh <3


	2. Sept 3rd, 2013

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fanfiction for Life is Strange. Please let me know what you think of it.
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/MissKateMarsh

Dear Lord, 

I am truly blessed to have you. In my times of struggles and hardship, I know I have you on my side.

My classes this year will definitely be a challenge in more ways than one. Not only academically, but socially. Although I did make a few friends today, the majority of the campus seems to be involved something called a “Vortex Club”. Something my aunt would refer to as a haven of sin. Now that I think about it, there are no religious groups on campus that are all-inclusive.. Maybe that will be up to me to change, if you will it. No one should be left out of anything.

I already miss my beautiful sisters. Please be there for them. Comfort them when I am not able to do so. And make sure they know how much I love them. Thank you for all you have done. Thank you for what you have planned for me.

Always and forever yours,

Kate B. Marsh <3


	3. Sept 4th, 2013

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fanfiction for Life is Strange. Please let me know what you think of it.
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/MissKateMarsh

Dear Lord, 

You would never present a challenge to me I could never overcome. I have to remember this. 

When the admissions office said Blackwell Academy had rigorous courses, they did not exaggerate. I am already wiped out from going over the syllabus. I can’t imagine the state I’ll be in next month when we’ll be in the middle of it all. At least I have you to back me up and give me the strength to go on.

And thank you for the friends I’ve made so far! Yesterday I explained my idea for a religious studies group to Max, who was the first person I met here. She was very supportive of it, though she wasn’t interested in it herself. And today, the word got out! Many people are wanting to join my group! One of them I would have never expected, too. 

Alyssa does not appear to be a believer. And she doesn’t act like a very sociable person. Yet, this was a lesson in judgement I had to learn. When she first approached me I thought she was going to be critical of my idea, but she’s quite excited and very interested in joining! I am so grateful.

Thank you for believing in me. Always and forever yours, 

Kate B. Marsh <3


	4. Sept 15, 2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if we had access to the journal of Kate Marsh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fanfiction for Life is Strange. Please let me know what you think of it.
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/MissKateMarsh

Dear Lord,

Last week was truly a blessing. I never thought I would fit in this much at Blackwell! My birthday was amazing, though I wasn’t able to spend the whole day with my family. Yet, even classes weren’t bad! My new friends gave me a card they all signed and a huge gift card to Powell’s Books. And honestly...I love getting Bible covers, devotionals, and Christian jewelry. But it was nice to get a secular gift for a change.

Speaking of classes, my homework is challenging. However, it’s just enough to help me grow as an artist. And that makes me even more glad I was accepted. If that’s even possible. In fact, I’ve gotten so much accomplished over the past two weeks that I’ve found the time to help out my teachers. It’s only fair to do what I can to make their job easier, since they do so much for their students. They’re all really polite and grateful for whatever I’m able to do for them.

Though many students are doing their part to help out those around campus, I do feel terrible for the homeless people in Arcadia Bay. And I do feel terrible for only just noticing them. Father, I have always had a roof over my head and food on my table. Until I came here, I took that for granted. No more. Use me as you will so I can help these people. So we can show them how life gets better and they CAN bring themselves up. If it is your will, show me how I can help.

Thank you for giving me eighteen blessed years of life.

Always and forever yours,

Kate B. Marsh <3


	5. Sept 23rd, 2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if we had access to the journal of Kate Marsh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fanfiction for Life is Strange. Please let me know what you think of it.
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/MissKateMarsh

Dear Lord,

I am so grateful for the opportunities you have put in front of me.

Today in class, Mr. Jefferson announced the Everyday Heroes Contest!! I am so excited, but I’m also pretty anxious about this. It’s such a positive event for us to participate in. There are so many people that make the world a better place and we have to appreciate those around us who help others on a daily basis. But that’s where the problem for me is. Planning my submission is going to take some time. I just have too many options. Anyone who sacrifices something for the sake of another person is my hero. I hope I can develop a solid entry in time. And I hope I can impress Mr. Jefferson.

I think Max is having the same problem, which is really sad. She really does have a good eye for photography but, like a true artist, she is too critical of her own work. I pray she gains the confidence in her work and in herself. After class, I saw her talking to Warren about the contest. I usually don’t think this way about people but….honestly, they just look so darn cute together. You can tell there’s something going on by the way Warren looks at her. And of course, Max seems completely oblivious. It’ll be interesting to see how this will work out.

Also, after doing some research, I learned how I could be part of Meals on Wheels! There is a program around 21 miles from campus. They provide meals for those who cannot afford to buy their own and for those who aren’t able to leave their home. Is this what I’m meant to do, Father? Is this best for the helpless in Arcadia Bay? Let me know what I can do to make the world a little better. 

Always and forever yours,

Kate B. Marsh <3


	6. Sept 30th, 2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if we had access to the journal of Kate Marsh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fanfiction for Life is Strange. Please let me know what you think of it.
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/MissKateMarsh

Dear Lord,

Thank you for changing my life this way. I’ve never been happier.

Although I love my family, they can be very overwhelming. Our lives revolve around the church to the point where anything secular is viewed as being of the devil...maybe I’m exaggerating...That’s just how I feel. My parents are much better at it than the rest of the family. Especially Auntie. She lives, breathes, and sleeps the Word of God. No thoughts or conversations about anything else. Except when she complains nonstop about the “Godlessness” of this world. 

I’m supposed to just nod my head and furiously agree, but...I just don’t understand. We can’t force religion on anyone. That just drives people away from God and not towards Him. We shouldn’t make every country and its citizens completely Christian. We already have a Kingdom and it’s not of this world. And the way my family talks about non-Christians is appalling!! They aren’t Sodomites or Heathens or Devil-worshippers. They’re people in need of our love and prayers. This isn’t the way things should be. 

Thank goodness that Mother didn’t listen to her rants and trusted me enough to come here. Blackwell’s students aren’t as Godless as Auntie said they were. They may curse and do drugs and drink, but overall I just think they are misguided. Not damned. All they need is someone to show them the consequences of their actions. I think they are good people. but just because we follow Your Word doesn’t mean we aren’t sinners too.

Stella has invited me to go to a Vortex Party later this week. I’m really not sure if I should go...but I want to. She is a great friend, she would never do anything to hurt or humiliate me. And though I do love her and Alyssa, it would be nice to meet new people. You can never have too many friends. I know the Vortex Club almost literally reeks of temptation. But you will be there with me, right? I put my life in your hands because you know what is best for me. 

Always and forever yours,

Kate B. Marsh <3


	7. Oct 7th, 2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if we had access to the journal of Kate Marsh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fanfiction for Life is Strange. Please let me know what you think of it.
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/MissKateMarsh

God. I stopped believing in angels. 

When I went to my locker this morning, it was empty. They took everything I had and left no evidence as to who they were. I tried reporting it to security but they said I had no proof. “Shouldn’t the lock be broken if someone busted into your locker?” They didn’t believe me. I tried explaining to my professor. All of my homework was stolen. He told me I was a better person than to lie. “You’re an excellent student, Kate. But I don’t want excuses for not doing your work.” He didn’t believe me. 

And how can I defend myself against those who are watching that awful video? I can barely convince myself that I’m not that girl. That I’m not so….vulgar and immoral. No one believes me anymore. I’m not sure I believe in myself either. My things were found in the swimming pool this afternoon. My homework, my new sketchbook, and all my pictures. Tossed like trash with no sign of who did this to me. Fishing everything out was so humiliating. 

Then something good happened. As I was desperately trying to grab a picture, I almost fell in. But a girl pulled me from the edge. I’ve seen her before around campus....she is really hard to forget.

“It’s a good thing I caught you, Kate! Now let me help you. You shouldn’t do this alone.”

With her help, I got everything out of the pool. And before she left, she said to not let people get the best of me. Never let them bring me down. I stopped believing in angels, but maybe angels didn’t stop believing in me. If anyone deserves to be happy in this world, it’s her. There needs to be some good to come out of this. 

I hope she finds Rachel soon. 

Kate


	8. Oct 8th, 2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if we had access to the journal of Kate Marsh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Marsh Letter is a suicide note. If you do choose to read this, please be aware this has heavy content. This explicitly talks about suicidal ideation and plans for a suicide attempt. It contains real, but altered passages from a real suicide note I wrote in the past. DO NOT READ IF THIS WILL MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. If you do read this letter and are affected by its content, please make use of one of the hotlines located here: 
> 
> http://www.suicide.org/suicide-hotlines.html
> 
> Please keep yourself safe. Thank you. <3
> 
> ~
> 
> This is my first fanfiction for Life is Strange. Please let me know what you think of it.
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/MissKateMarsh

It’s only Tuesday but it’s already the worst week of my life. I have been pushed around in hallways, hit with countless objects, and harassed by everyone in sight. Even school security. This is it. I have to transfer or drop out or better yet go away from here. So far away. It will never end as long as I’m here. I can’t be here anymore. I’m done.

As long as no one is willing to help me, I’m going to be lost. And I can’t deal anymore. I’m done. Now I know how terrible nonstop bullying is firsthand. I can’t go anywhere without judgement, especially from my family. I wouldn’t even mind people just staring at me, as long as they don’t talk to me. I just want to be left alone now. I need to be alone forever.

I hope you are happy with yourselves. I tried reaching out but none of you give a damn. But you will now. I grew up believing the world was a good place, but it was a lie. No wonder God has abandoned me. All of us. We are disgusting, selfish creatures that live for the moment and not for each other. Someone needed help but you mocked me and turned against me. This is not a world of God or any world I want to be a part of. You corrupted me. Maybe my death will help you understand how awful you’re acting. Then no one else will have to suffer. I will help them by going away. It’ll help everyone.

Daddy. You’ve supported me from the moment you first held me in your arms. But one voice was not enough to muffle the noise. It was just too much. You did all you could. Please forgive me for the pain I’ll cause you.

My sisters won’t have to grow up in my shadow, my ruined reputation. This will make everyone forget. I’ll be watching over you two from wherever I am. You’re going to be so great, my loves. Greater than I could ever be.

Mother, I’m going to give you what you want. Now all of your daughters are perfect. I’m finally going to make you proud of me.

And to everyone in Arcadia Bay. You’re going to get what you deserve. You’ve done nothing to help anyone but yourselves. That’s why God destroyed Sodom by fire. Now you will be destroyed by the ice in your hearts. It’s coming soon. Sooner than you think.

Kate Beverly Marsh


	9. Oct 8th, 2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if we had access to the journal of Kate Marsh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Marsh Letter is a suicide note. If you do choose to read this, please be aware this has heavy content. This explicitly talks about suicidal ideation and plans for a suicide attempt. It contains real, but altered passages from a real suicide note I wrote in the past. DO NOT READ IF THIS WILL MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. If you do read this letter and are affected by its content, please make use of one of the hotlines located here: 
> 
> http://www.suicide.org/suicide-hotlines.html
> 
> Please keep yourself safe. Thank you. <3
> 
> ~
> 
> This is my first fanfiction for Life is Strange. Please let me know what you think of it.
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/MissKateMarsh

It’s only Tuesday but it’s already the worst week of my life. I have been pushed around in hallways, hit with countless objects, and harassed by everyone in sight. Even school security. This is it. I have to transfer or drop out or better yet go away from here. So far away. It will never end as long as I’m here. I can’t be here anymore. I’m done.

As long as no one is willing to help me, I’m going to be lost. And I can’t deal anymore. I’m done. Now I know how terrible nonstop bullying is firsthand. I can’t go anywhere without judgement, especially from my family. I wouldn’t even mind people just staring at me, as long as they don’t talk to me. I just want to be left alone now. I need to be alone forever.

I hope you are happy with yourselves. I tried reaching out but none of you give a damn. But you will now. I grew up believing the world was a good place, but it was a lie. No wonder God has abandoned me. All of us. We are disgusting, selfish creatures that live for the moment and not for each other. Someone needed help but you mocked me and turned against me. This is not a world of God or any world I want to be a part of. You corrupted me. Maybe my death will help you understand how awful you’re acting. Then no one else will have to suffer. I will help them by going away. It’ll help everyone.

Daddy. You’ve supported me from the moment you first held me in your arms. But one voice was not enough to muffle the noise. It was just too much. You did all you could. Please forgive me for the pain I’ll cause you.

My sisters won’t have to grow up in my shadow, my ruined reputation. This will make everyone forget. I’ll be watching over you two from wherever I am. You’re going to be so great, my loves. Greater than I could ever be.

Mother, I’m going to give you what you want. Now all of your daughters are perfect. I’m finally going to make you proud of me.

And to everyone in Arcadia Bay. You’re going to get what you deserve. You’ve done nothing to help anyone but yourselves. That’s why God destroyed Sodom by fire. Now you will be destroyed by the ice in your hearts. It’s coming soon. Sooner than you think.

Kate Beverly Marsh


	10. Oct 9th, 2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if we had access to the journal of Kate Marsh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fanfiction for Life is Strange. Please let me know what you think of it.
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/MissKateMarsh

Our Father which art in heaven, 

Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

She recited the Lord’s prayer every night. From the time she could speak until the time she left us. My baby girl. My Kate. Lord, I terribly regret I could not have done more to be a better parent to her. She hid so much from us in her shame, her desire to be our little angel. And we pushed her so hard to remain just that. Kate was not an angel. She never will be. 

She is not capable of perfection and she could not prevent the human nature of sin. We cannot both live and do no wrong. But Lord, she did try. She trusted the person who put that drink in her hand. She trusted the people around her to help keep her safe. They failed. And we all failed her. It was the actions of her betrayers that led to the video, it was not her fault. We should have realized this.

A loved one was hurting and we did nothing to help. We focused on our feelings and our reputation rather than the health of Kate. My lost little girl. What does that say about us? I don’t know if we can be the same again. But Kate...I will love you still.

Always and forever.

Mommy


	11. Oct 10th, 2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if we had access to the journal of Kate Marsh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fanfiction for Life is Strange. Please let me know what you think of it.
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/MissKateMarsh

I am alive because of you.

Doctor McDowell decided I wasn’t a high risk case anymore. They let me have a few pencils to write or draw whatever I wish. “You know, Kate, a sign of depression is not being interested in hobbies”. Surprisingly, I wanted to. I wanted to work on my stories. I’m not sure if I’m terrified or relieved about this. Everything has been changing so fast. And it’s scary to think I was so damn lost and no one knew what was wrong. No one knew what I was going through or what it meant. You never think someone around you is seriously going to harm themselves until it’s too late. And to know I’m not the only one out there who was suffering...and I was one of the few to actually get help. That’s what I’m most terrified about.

I grew up listening to horror stories about the psychiatric ward. How the patients were heartless, unpredictable monsters. Well...one boy here, he’s around my age. He put a gun in his mouth a month ago. He also shines like the sun when his sister visits and gives her piggyback rides every time she asks. Someone just arrived to visit their daughter. She took fifty different pills and always shares her desserts with patients who refuse to eat. The girl in the next room was the one who comforted me on my first night here. She didn’t cover up the scars on her legs, but she helped wipe away my tears. She assured me I would get the help I needed.

I survived, but anyone who has ever walked the earth could have been in my position. A lot of people have. Some got through it. Many...too many...don’t. I want to help change that. It may just be the overly-happy environment they set up for us, but I can already tell it gets better. As cliche as it sounds, it’s true. I’m living proof. And now that I’m here, what will people think of me? Will they forever think of me as a hypocritical viral slut? Or will they look at me and see a fighter? Frankly I don’t even care. I’m alive. I don’t want to be a villain, but I am nobody’s hero. I’m not either. I’m just Kate Marsh. And I am yours.

Always and forever.

<3


	12. Oct 11th, 2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if we had access to the journal of Kate Marsh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fanfiction for Life is Strange. Please let me know what you think of it.
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/MissKateMarsh

Dear Lord,

We’re all being taken to Hillsboro. The storm has become so terrible, we’re being evacuated before it hits us. I am really at a loss for words. So many lives are being lost. So many families are being ripped apart at this moment. A mother may have lost her child. A brother may have lost a sister. Someone may have lost a life-long friend today. It’s hard to see the good in any tragedy, but when it’s so close to home...I can understand why people don’t have faith.

We all have struggles. Tragedies to overcome. Villains to fight. We can’t be without hardship, it’s just impossible. Whether we believe in God or not is our own choice but we can’t get anywhere without other people. As much as I would LOVE for everyone to follow Your word, that’s depressingly impossible. But all I will ask, Father, is that no one has to weather the storm alone. 

My time at Blackwell, or even Arcadia Bay, may be coming to an end now. It’s hard to tell how much damage will come of this. But I will never forget the people I’ve come to know. Whether they’ve been on my side or not, I know they have changed me so much. The pain I went through is nothing compared to the happiness I’ve felt in these past few days. It doesn’t erase the happiness I felt before either. 

The choices I have made led to where I am now. I am who I am because of them. And we must all look for the rainbow after the storm. The people I love here...that’s my rainbow. No matter what becomes of them after this day, they will stay with me forever. I will carry their stories wherever I go. I hope I will make them proud of me. I may be leaving for now, but I will come back to Arcadia Bay. I will come back.

Always and forever.

Kate Beverly Marsh

**Author's Note:**

> For the rest of the chapters, The Marsh Letters are going to contain material that may make you uncomfortable. As you know from the game, Kate is drugged at a party and humiliated by her peers. That is the extent of her knowledge on what happened on the night of October 4th. And from this point on, I will be writing from the point of view of the Kate we see in the game. The subjects I will be writing about will involve religious struggles, depression, suicidal ideation, and a heavily suggested suicide attempt.
> 
> When you read these next chapters, keep this in mind. I based my interpretation of Kate’s thought process on my own experience with these subjects. And, at certain points, it will contain altered passages from my own suicide note. I felt as if this would be an appropriate action to take since the reason I’m so drawn to Kate is I’ve been through a similar situation. Although I have not been through her specific experiences, I feel as if this would help me write these next few chapters to the best of my ability.
> 
> Thank you for your feedback.


End file.
